


Divergent Evolutionary Trends

by LadyVictory



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-17
Packaged: 2018-01-24 14:05:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1607846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyVictory/pseuds/LadyVictory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even after all she has done, Sarah can’t bring herself to kill Helena.</p><p>Vaguely a sequel to "Snake in the Grass, Shadow on the Wall."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: Through the end of Season 1.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not hold the patent on Sarah, Helena, or Cosima’s DNA; I do not turn a profit for taking them or Felix for a spin.
> 
> A/N: Unbeta’d, because I shouldn’t be writing it right now…

The bullet goes wide, grazing Helena’s shoulder, and Sarah hates herself, both for missing the mark and for hitting Helena at all.  
            
Helena jerks back, the pain in her eyes eclipsed by a look of rapturous joy. She holds out a trembling hand.  
            
“Sestra,” she whispers, voice awed. She raises her arms, seemly unconcerned by her injury.  
  
“No! You stay there! Hands over your fuckin’ head!”  
  
Sarah points the gun towards Helena’s face, gripping it in both hands to steady it; it shakes anyway.  
  
Helena winces away, whining like a frightened dog and hunching in on herself as if to hide, but obeys none-the-less.  
  
“Please, please Sarah. Please. I love you,” she whimpers, sinking slowly to her knees and gazing up at her twin through blonde curls. She looks so sad it breaks Sarah’s heart. She looks like she did in that cage, betrayed but fiercely hopeful.  
  
Helena repeats the words, ‘please,’ ‘I love you,’ and ‘Sarah’ so many times they run together, becoming a mantra. She is brave, of that there is no doubt, but even she can’t bring herself to say what she really means – Sarah please, love me too, please forgive me – she cannot bring herself to beg for it.  
  
Sarah understands, though.  
  
The instinct to comfort – maybe maternal, maybe self indulgent – is strong, filling Sarah’s chest like blood. Clenching her teeth, she forces it away.  
  
“Hands behind your fuckin’ back, or the next one goes between your eyes!”  
  
Helena groans, bending in half so that her forehead touches the floor. A heartbroken supplicant, she prostrates herself before a vengeful goddess.  
  
“They are gone. They are dead. I am alone without you.” Drool and mucus trail down her face as Helena keens quietly.  
  
Sarah feels sick to her stomach as she zips the tie in place, one hand working the plastic and the other holding the trembling gun. As soon as she is done, she dials Cosima’s number. The other woman picks up after three rings.  
  
“Sarah? Hey! You okay?”  
  
Sarah rests the butt of the gun against her head, closing her eyes for a moment. On the floor, her twin inches forward, head resting on her calf. She is torn between flinching away and comforting her.  
  
“Sarah?”  
  
“It's Helena… She killed Amelia, Cosima. I… This is fucked. Can you meet me?”  
  
“Holy shit! Yeah, no problem! Lemme get away from, uh… yeah…”  
  
Steeling herself and shaking the desperation away, Sarah nods as she opens her eyes. Looking down she sees Helena watching her, expression a raw and open wound. Sarah blows out a breath.  
  
“Sure, yeah. Fee’s in an hour good?”  
  
“Yeah, sure. I’ll be there.” There is a pause, where they both breathe in sync over the line. “Are you gonna be okay. You know… travelling.”  
  
Helena shifts forward then, nuzzling the barrel of the gun, suddenly silent.  
  
“Yeah,” Sarah says, distracted. “Yeah, we’ll be good.”  
  
They hang up, and Sarah turns her full attention to the problem at hand. Helena’s eyes crackle, her brow sharp and angry.  
  
“You would have one of them come?” Her voice drips from her mouth like venom. She spits. “Abomination.”  
  
“You make a move against  _any_  of us, you die,” Sarah growls, shoving the gun into the nest of tangled curls. “Now, move.”  
  
tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah and Helena begin to build an understanding.

Sarah doesn’t have the heart to put Helena in the trunk this time around. Not with the way her tears still shine on her cheeks as she shuffles to the car, so she shoves the blonde into the passenger seat instead. She keeps the gun in her left hand, away from Helena but pointed in her direction, and her right on the wheel.

The tense silences lasts halfway to Felix’s flat, though Sarah can tell her new sister is vibrating with the need to pontificate on Cosima the moment they are on the road. It sets her teeth on edge.

“What?” Sarah barks, breaking first. Her eyes jump between the road and her passenger.

“Why do you need them?” Helena asks, not accustomed to playing coy when she doesn’t have to. Her voice is sullen, her accent wrapping itself around the words.

“What?” Sarah asks; it is not what she expects to hear.

“Why. Do. You. Need. Them?” Helena repeats, sighing like an annoyed teenager. She shifts in the seat, turning to face Sarah; Sarah’s hand tightens on the gun. “We are real, and they are not. We have each other now.”

“They are as real as we are, Helena.”

“No.” The refutation is not angry, just absolute.

“Yes. They were born, just like us. They have families, and – and lives.” She looks over, catching Helena’s eyes. “They feel pain, Helena. They have fears…” That the blonde is one of them is left unsaid, but Sarah hopes she understands.

Helena sneers, comprehending but looking oddly proud, as if she is happy to be the monster under the bed.

“They are fabricated sheep. They are _wrong_.”

Sarah is tired of having this argument, tired of the bigotry that has been beaten into this woman. Her eyes go back to the road, and she rubs at her forehead with her left hand, the gun scratching the skin.

If she does not convince the assassin of their basic humanity, the others will never be safe. If any of them are going to survive, to be free, they have to work together. Helena could be instrumental in their success, or single handedly responsible for their failure.

They stop at a light, an abandoned church on the far corner of the intersection catching Sarah’s eye. She is struck by inspiration.

“Who says we aren’t real, Helena?” she asks, including herself in the group. “Who decided that?”

Helena frowns, sensing that she may be walking into a philosophical trap. She licks her chapped lips and blinks hard.

“God. God says _they_ are abominations.”

“Oh yeah? God?” Sarah looks at the other woman directly, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes.”

“You speak with God directly, then, Helena? You a prophet?”

Helena looks back at her, scandalized.

“Didn’t think so. So lets try this again, yeah? Who says we’re wrong?”

“No _us_ , Sarah. Just-”

“Who FUCKING says, Helena? Huh? Who?”

Helena shrinks back against the window at Sarah’s vehemence. She looks torn, between her iron clad beliefs and her sister’s approval.

“T-Tomas. He showed me The Word,” Helena says, desperate for Sarah to understand what she so clearly knows.

“Oh yeah? Tomas? You backing him?” Sarah nods, chuckling without humor.

Helena looks pained as she realizes her mistake. She reaches up, hands held out as if to ask for understanding. Sarah raises the gun, warning her with her eyes. Helena opens her mouth to speak, but the dark haired woman shakes her head.

“Tomas, the man who wants you to kill me? Tomas, the man who locked you in the cage? The one who betrayed you?” Sarah all but spits. Helena flinches at every mention of his name. “ _That_ Tomas, yeah?”

Helena is silent, face contorted in her cognitive dissonance. Sarah lets it be, knowing that this is the first of many decisions that will determine Helena’s future.

Helena whimpers, turns away to look out the window. She has to choose: her sister, who despite all that has happened would not – could not – kill her, or, everything she has ever known.

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Felix has a gun, Helena tries desperately to cling to the past, and Sarah demolishes her walls.

When they arrive at Felix’s, Sarah hoists Helena out of the car by her bound hands. Helena says nothing but can’t stop the hiss of pain from escaping through her teeth. Sarah feels a pang of guilt, looking at her sister’s savaged wrists, but pushes it down in favor of expediency.

Felix is not happy to see Helena, but for once keeps his silence. Sarah hands him the gun and moves her captive into the bathroom – to the first aid kit. Sarah guides Helena to sit on the toilet and crouches in front of her.

Sarah is gentle with her sister, taking care not to pull or yank the plastic tie as she cuts it off. For a second she forgets what the rough hands between her own have done. She tends to the angry wounds, her touch soft and comforting, as if it were Kira she was looking after.

“These are bad, Helena,” Sarah murmurs.

“I had to come to you. I had to… to make you understand.”

“Understand what?”

Helena meets her gaze, eyes flashing, fierce. “That we are family.”

Taking a deep breath and expelling it loudly, Sarah scrubs at her face with her hand.

“If this is gonna work, if you wanna try and be a family, you’re gonna have to make me some promises.”

Helena looks at the ground, avoiding her eyes. “I do not want to lie to you, Sarah.”

Gritting her teeth, Sarah finishing taping the bandages on the blonde’s wrists and and begins on her shoulder.

“Then don’t," she snaps, frustrated. "You’ve got to stop hurting yourself, Helena.”

It is apparently not what Helena is expecting. Her eyes dart up, hold Sarah’s. The dark haired woman looks back, expression grave.

“You’re a person, Helena. Not a tool, or a weapon or whatever the hell else those bastards tried to make you!”

Taking a chance, Sarah reaches forward, cupping her sister’s cheek. Helena flinches, and it breaks Sarah’s heart. Those men, those zealots, they damaged this woman – this other her. They tore her to pieces and assembled the mess in a way that suited them. She is like a puzzle whose pieces have been scrambled and then forced back together wrong.

“If what Amelia said was true, we’re connected. You said that yourself, yeah?” Sarah continues, tripping a bit over Amelia’s name. Forcing the horrific scene from her mind – one issue at a time – she looks at Helena expectantly.

“Yes,” Helena replies, nodding, eyes large. She leans into the caress, eager. “We are the same.”

“Do you think _I_ should hurt myself? Like you do? Would that be right?” Sarah asks, cocking her head to the side, hoping against hope that she is getting through – that Helena is connecting the dots. Helena looks physically pained at the idea. “Answer the question, Helena."

“No,” Helena whispers, voice hoarse. “No. Please, do not.”

Felix shifts behind them, gun lowered towards the floor. Sarah is surprised he has managed to keep his comments to himself. Looking back at him, she sees that there are tears in his eyes as he looks between them. She is infinitely grateful for his presence in her life.

Sarah brings her other hand up, so that she is cradling her sister’s face, rubbing her thumbs over pale cheeks. Helena’s eyes remind her so much of her daughter that it hurts to look.

“I know that in there, you know the right from wrong.” Sarah pulls back, one hand coming to rest on Helena’s knee, the other in her own hair, pushing the dark locks back, away from her face. She levels Helena with her best understanding stare. “Look, I know you feel horrible right now, wanting to do right but feelin’ like you can’t.”

“No.” Helena frowns, pulling away, denying.

Sarah nods. “Yeah. You feel like you don’t deserve to do good, like, no matter what you’ll never be clean. Like, if heaven is real, you won’t be gettin' in no matter what you do now.”

“No!” Helena growls, eyes wide but unseeing. Felix raises the gun a little, suddenly nervous. “I am righteous! I am the light!”

“Yeah?” Sarah pushes, eyebrows raised. She is taking a huge risk right now, but she knows if she can just break through a little more, without sending Helena over the edge, it will be worth it. “You said you wouldn’t lie to me, Helena.”

Now the assassin glowers at her sister, breathing heavy. She looks like a petulant child, and like a killer, all in one. Sarah knows she has to step lightly.

“I have done God’s work.”

“Yeah? God’s work? You tellin’ me you’ve never had even a second of doubt? Of guilt for what you did?”

Helena goes still, face calm and knowing. “Never.”

“Thou shall not kill, Helena.” Sarah’s voice is deadly serious.

“An eye for an eye!” Helena rejoins, crossing her arms over her chest, ignoring the injuries.

Sarah stands, and Helena follows.

“What did these women every do to you!?”

“They were born!” Helena yells, turning away, looking towards the window. Sarah can tell she is looking for an escape, a way out of the room, sure, but more out of the conversation. “There can be only one me. One original.”

“And yet, we all exist.”

“No!” Helena turns again, eyes feverish with purpose. “Not for long.” She stands, trembling, hands clenching and unclenching at her sides. Sarah holds out her own hand.

“You gonna kill me?” It’s an offer and a dare.

Helena looks like she has been slapped across the face.

“Did you know,” Sarah continues, fingers catching her sister’s. “That identical twins are natures clones? That we, we formed from one.” Helena frowns, Sarah presses on. “We were the same, down to DNA, and became more. One egg, two copies. Does that make us wrong, Helena?”

“We are not wrong,” Helena insists, squeezing Sarah’s hand, trying to make her understand through touch.

“All of us, we’re the same, yeah? If they’re wrong, we’re wrong. If we’re good – right – then so are they.” Helena tenses, and Sarah holds up her free hand, like she is calming an agitated animal. “You don’t get to pick and choose between us. _You’re_ not God.”

Helena looks a mixture of anger and guilt, as if she resents the words coming out of Sarah’s mouth, because she herself has contemplated them before and found too much truth there.

“The man who raised you, this Tomas; he hurt you. He _made_ you do terrible things. He didn’t love you, Helena. He wasn’t family.” Helena opens her mouth to respond, but Sarah is ready. “And no matter who you hurt, your who you kill, it isn’t gonna change what happened to you.”

“STOP!” Helena shouts, pulling away and clapping her hands over her ears. “Enough!” Her nails rake across her skin, leaving angry welts. Sarah moves forward, reaches out to stop the self abuse.

“Killing us – killing your sisters – it won’t make all the things he did to you, the things he made _you_ do disappear,” she says, as gentle as she can manage with images of a murdered Cosima and Alison popping into her mind.

“I said stop!”

“You said we were family. Was that a lie?”

“NO! I did not lie to you. I love you. You are my sestra.”

Helena hunches over, pained, whining again like a wounded animal, her fingers tangled in her curls, pulling at them. Sarah eases them out, into her own hands. Partially to get the yanking to stop, and partially to relieve the ache in her own chest.

“We’re a family, Helena. You, and me, and the others.” She pulls Helena to her, embraces her. “We’ve all been hurt.”

Helena is tense, wanting to argue, but wanting Sarah’s affection more. The brunette pulls her closer, mindful of her wounds. “We all deserve better, yeah? You deserve better. And we’re gonna get it. I won’t let anyone hurt you like that again, ever. I promise.”

Helena collapses on the floor, not crying, but shaking and gasping, as if she is a boiler that needs to be vented. Sarah goes with her, pulling her close.

They stay like that for a long time.

Finally, it’s Felix who breaks the silence.

“Well fuck. I dunno about you, but I need a drink.”

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Helena and Cosima finally meet, and Sarah has to run again.

Cosima arrives almost half an hour late, hurried, apologetic, and incredibly nervous. Helena is on the couch, curled into a ball, practically purring as Sarah haltingly strokes her hair. A tipsy Felix moves to the side as the grad student enters the apartment, something amber swirling in the glass he clutches.

As Cosmia stumbles in, Helena is on her feet in an instant, a dark, unfathomable expression pulled over her features like a mask. Cosima hesitates, eyeing the twins with wide, uncertain eyes.

Sarah tenses. She wants nothing more than to jerk the other woman back, away from her friend, but the tenuous understanding they have forged requires that she trust the blonde to do the right thing.

The assassin stalks forward, sniffling the air around Cosima like a blood hound on a scent.

“Helena…” Sarah warns. Helena holds out a hand, as if to silence her.

“This one is sick,” the blonde says, almost conversationally. She circles around Cosima, who turns with her. “Like the German. Death will come for her.”

“Jesus Christ, Helena!” Sarah chides, chest constricting in fear. Cosima looks down, face coloring in shame and anger.

Something changes. Sarah isn’t sure what or why, but the air seems to crack and break. Helena leans down, catches Cosima’s eyes.

“I was made to hunt you, to kill you…” She bends slowly, squatting so that they can really see each other. “I hate you.” This is whispered, like a secret.

Sarah’s gaze falls on the gun on the coffee table, and she feels her hand twitch for it.

“You don’t even know me!” Cosima breathes, voice ragged as she scowls, indignant. She becomes brave in her emotion.

Helena nods twice, pursing her lips. “No,” she agrees, turning away and wandering towards the open door. “I understand now that I do not.”

And then Helena is gone, a shadow in the night.

Felix breaks the silence.

“There isn’t enough alcohol in all of fuckin’ Canada to deal with your new pet, Sarah.”

Sarah winces but chooses not to comment, motioning toward the other woman. “Come here,” she says. Shaking, Cosima makes her way to the couch.

“Well… that went well,” the scientist mutters, breath hitching as she begins to cough. She covers her mouth, but the sound is wet and thick, and red tinged spittle escapes between her fingers.

“Jesus, Cosima!”

Without a word, Felix sets a glass of water on the coffee table, and takes up post on the other side of the clone.

“I’m alright, I’m okay,” she assures, waving her ringed hand as if to dispel the concern in the air. She holds her breath for long moments, willing her lungs to stop spasaming.

Cold, heavy fear drops into Sarah’s stomach.

As insane as Helena is, she is a problem that can be worked on, can be solved. With enough effort, Sarah can help her become a person. But this… illness, the thing that ravaged Katja and maybe others, it is beyond Sarah's realm of understanding – of influence. This is not something she can protect Cosima from.

The sound of the coughs, smaller but no less thick, fills Sarah with waves of dread.

“Don’t. Don’t do that, Sarah… Don’t look at me like that,” Cosima pleads, eyes moist but firm.

“Like what?” Sarah whispers. Cosima reaches out, takes the trembling woman's hands into of her own.

“Like I’m already dead. Because I’m not, okay? I am not gone yet, and I refuse to give up hope.”

“Of course, luv,” Felix says, drawing their eyes. “And I’m sure that with that giant, sexy brain of yours, you’ll find a solution in a jiff.” He snaps his fingers, the sound making them all jump even though they saw it coming.

It breaks the tense a bit, and they all exhale. If Cosima’s sounds a bit like a wet rattle, the other two ignore it.

“Right. Exactly.” Cosima smiles, grateful. “And besides, Delphine is helping.”

“Cosima,” Sarah groans, flopping back onto the couch. “Are you serious, right now?”

“What?” Cosima asks, reaching out and snagging the water. She takes a sip, eyes flashing. “You can shack up with your monitor, take in crazy religious zealots bent on killing us all, but Delphine is a problem?”

The words are said lightly, almost off handed, but there is a real bitterness between them that takes Sarah off guard.

“Oi, watch your tongue, Xerox, or I’ll forget how pitiful your little hack-fit was a second ago!” Felix chastises, but there is no real venom behind it.

Sighing, Cosima nods. “Sorry.” She stands, wringing her hands as she turns and looks at the foster siblings. Sarah is frowning, but oddly quiet. “Look, I am in a… unique position to, to study this from the inside. I’m not saying I’m gonna spill all our secrets to Leekie, but like, keeping our enemies close and using their resouces for our own gain might be the right approach here.”

“Because that’s worked so well for you so far,” Felix snorts, rolling his eyes dramatically and slumping against the furniture. “Face it, darling, there is only one person you want to keep close, and it isn’t Leekie.”

Cosima deflates a bit, but doesn’t deny it. She shrugs instead. “I’m not gonna lie and say that isn’t a part of it, but this, this is bigger… I have the chance to really understand us, not just this stupid cough, but everything. Giving that up… It would be monumentally stupid.”

Sarah nods slowly, closing her eyes briefly against a headache. “Yeah.” She sits forward, resting her head in her hands. “Yeah, okay.”

“Sarah!” Felix exclaims. “You are not seriously considerin’ lettin’ Science Barbie here go into the belly of the beast!”

“Hey! Rude.” Cosima grumbles.

Sarah can’t help but chuckle at her brother. “She’s right, Fee. We need someone on the inside, our own monitor. And, if this is the same thing the German had… Better have her working on that where she has the stuff she needs.”

“As much as I loathe being discussed as if I’m not in the room, I’m glad you agree.” Cosima smiles.

Sarah’s phone rings, cutting Felix off before he can argue. The screen says Mrs. S. Immediately, there is a tight, churning feeling in Sarah’s gut. She is well acquainted with trouble, knows exactly what its knock sounds like.

“Sestra,” Helena groans over the line, voice weak. Sarah’s blood runs cold. “They are gone… my little angel, she is gone… She has flown away…” Helena trails off, whimpering once before going silent.

“Helena? Helena! Talk to me!”

Silence.

Without a word, without knowing that she doing it, Sarah is running again.

tbc


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sarah saves Helena, Kira is kidnapped, Delphine helps Cosima to find warmth, and Helena is taken from her family.
> 
> Actual Cosima/Delphine in this bit.

Sarah barely waits for the car door to close before peeling onto the road, speeding all the way to Siobhan’s. The door is wide open, lock splintered, and through it Sarah can see the house is wreck.

Helena lies face down in a pool of her own blood just inside the doorway. The entry wound on her back is horrific – a rifle, definitely, though not a high caliber one thank God – and Sarah can’t even imagine the exit wound. The blonde is unconscious, hand stretched out in front of her, as if to claw her way to the door.

Sarah stops only long enough to check Helena’s pulse – it is there, thready and weak, but there, and she breathes in wheezes – before bolting up the stairs.

Kira’s room is tossed, so is Mrs. S.’s. They are gone. Sarah screams until her throat is raw and she is coughing, gasping, sobbing.

A groan brings her back to herself, and she remembers her fallen sister. Racing downstairs again, she watches as Cosima drags Helena into a sitting position and pulls one of her limp arms around her shoulder.

“We need to get her to a hospital.”

The scene in front of her is like something out of a war movie, all torn flesh and fresh blood and debry – and Sarah feels herself going numb; she can’t stop the fine shaking that settles into her bones.

She doesn’t question how Cosima knew where to come, instead moving forward and taking Helena’s other arm. Together, the brunette’s haul the injured woman to Cosima’s car and put her into the backseat. Helena wakes as they do, moaning in pain.

Sarah crawls in after her, pulling the gasping woman into her arms and applying pressure to her wounds with a balled up sweater she finds shoved onto the floor. Helena shivers and whines, eyes blinking slowly, blindly, vision elsewhere.

“I was not here…” she murmurs, a bloody hand coming to rest on Sarah’s cheek. “I was too late… I am sorry, so sorry sestra. I could not stop them…”

“Who did this?” Sarah’s voice is quiet, eerily calm. Helena flinches.

“She is gone…”

“Who, Helena!”

“From behind…” Helena coughs harshly, spitting up blood. “Could not see…”

“Not good,” Cosima breaks in from the front seat, shell-shocked eyes catching Sarah’s in the rearview mirror. “Possible punctured lung...” She pauses, swallowing hard, eyes jerking back to the road, too wide to truly be present. “I dunno, I couldn’t tell. There was so much blood.”

The car weaves a bit as Cosima begins to tremble.

“Oi Cosima, get it together, right!” Sarah shouts, bracing one hand against the window while pulling Helena closer with the other.

“Right, right, sorry. ETA to the hospital about five minutes. I think.”

Cosima’s breaths come quickly, ragged, and she begins to cough. She forces her mouth closed against it, forces the air out of her nose, so that pink mucus explodes outward. She wipes it away with her sleeve and furtively glances over her shoulder before pulling an incredibly illegal turn.

“Christ, what a mess.”

Sarah turns back to her sister, who looks up at her with large, watery, broken eyes. Helena is so pale she looks fake, like a paper copy of Sarah come to life. Her guilt is real enough, though.

Helena clings, expression mournful more than concerned with her own pain.

“I could not stop them…” she whispers, hands clutching at Sarah’s shirt, blood staining the material. Her eyes plead for forgiveness.

Sarah says nothing, not sure what words she could use that wouldn’t cause more hurt. Part of her wants to blame Helena, to agree that she should have done something, but she knows that is cruel and unreasonable. She wants to scream, wants to cry and maybe vomit. This is her worst nightmare, realized. She pulls Helena closer instead, and applies more pressure to the wounds.

They screech to a stop in the parking lot so abruptly that Helena loses consciousness. Between them, the brunettes manage to hoist her up and drag her into urgent care.

The nurse take one look at the three of them – Cosima on the right, Sarah on the left, still applying pressure, Helena in the middle, slumped and still bleeding – and they jump into action.

Helena is taken. She stirs briefly as she is transferred to a bed, but goes unresisting when Sarah whispers for her to be good and let the doctors help her. She is wheeled away, into the emergency OR as Sarah and Cosima stand watching.

Cosima turns to her, and without a word Sarah knows she is worried about the questions that will come if they stay here, covered in blood that is their own, in a way, but also that of a killer. With a nod, they slink away before anyone can come for them.

They take a scenic route back to the car. Cosima takes the wheel again, and Sarah slides into the passenger seat. The car pulls onto the road, but Cosima is trembling so badly they have to stop after a few blocks, pulling into a diner parking lot.

“I kinda left Delphine in a hurry…” the grad student blurts, rubbing at her glasses with a sleeve. It leaves red streaks behind, and she makes a distressed noise in the back of her throat.

“I can’t imagine Felix is having a good time of it, either," Sarah agrees. She takes the spectacles from her companion and looks around, finding a tissue and wiping them clean.

“Th-thanks.” Cosima murmurs, sliding them back on.

“Yeah, no problem,” Sarah replies, smiling weakly. Closing her eyes and slumping back against the seat, she blows out a breath.

“She is going to think we abandoned her – that _you_ abandoned her. This could send her over the edge… if there is edge left to for her to fall off of,” Cosmia babbles, turning to regard the other woman. “This is a real mess.”

Sarah turns her head, blinking slowly as her mind begins to clear. She reaches out, lays a bloody hand on Cosima’s wrist. The other woman starts but then relaxes, takes Sarah’s hand into her own, linking the fingers together. They squeeze in unison, both needing comfort and stability.

“We had no choice, Coz. She was… fuck, Cosima, she was dying! But if we stayed…” Sarah trails off and Cosima nods in understanding.

“Yeah, no, I know… It’s just, this is so _fucked_ , ya know?”

Sarah nods. “Yeah, no shite. But, I have to, I have to find Kira. I couldn’t risk gettin' into it with any cops, or runnin’ into Rachel’s people.”

“Yeah… I just… Look, she’s a psycho killer, alright, I know. But man, I've never seen anyone so damaged… I mean, mentally as well as physically… She’s like a child with lethal combat skills.” Cosima pauses, sighing deeply, chest rattling a bit but she doesn't give into the itch at the back of her throat. “Those Proleithians… What they did to her… I am seriously torn here, Sarah.”

Sarah cradles Cosima’s hand in both of hers, both drawing and giving strength.

“We’ll be back for her, okay? When she can be moved, and I find Kira, we’ll come back. I won’t leave her behind. Like I wouldn’t leave you, or Alison behind.”

Cosima groans, falling back against her seat. “Crap, Alison. We need to tell her what’s going on. She totally deserves to know what’s going on.”

Sarah nods, letting go of Cosima’s hand. “Drop me at Fee’s. I’ll get that all sorted before I hit the street to...” She waves a hand in the air, and Cosima sighs

“We’ll find her,” the scientist promises, turning and starting the car. “We got your back.”

They pull into traffic. Glancing over at a brooding Sarah, Cosima frowns. “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

Sarah smiles and shakes her head ruefully. “Clearly not an option, yeah?”

Cosima nods reluctantly, suddenly exhausted now that the adrenaline has worn off.

“Right, well. At least promise that you won’t do anything alone.”

This catches Sarah off guard. She is so used to relying on herself, and occasionally Felix. She isn’t used to this – to people who understand and care for her despite or maybe because of who she is, isn't used to people that can help her. She is no used to be one of many, instead of just alone.

She is flooded with affection for her double, the feeling filling her chest, washing away some of her despair. She lets out a heavy breath.

“Yeah…” she says, smiling slowly. “Yeah, okay.”

“Good,” Cosima says, grinning tentatively. “We’ll figure this out together.”

*****

When Cosima finally keys open the hotel door Delphine is waiting, face pale and terrified.

“Hey,” Cosima murmurs, bashful smile on her face.

Without a word, Delphine stands to comes to her, reaching out and wrapping her in her arms. She knows she should protest, should make them take things slowly, but she is suddenly shivering; she is so cold, and Delphine’s arms are so very warm.

“Is any of it yours?” Delphine asks after what seems like an eternity. Cosima can only shake her head, voice stuck in her throat. The blonde nods, releasing a trembling breath. “Good.”

Cosima finds herself led into the small hotel bathroom and stripped of her clothes. Again, she knows she should protest, but again, she says nothing as Delphine disrobes and guides her to the side of the tub. The taller woman coos and hums as she starts the shower and urges her into it.

Cosima is paralyzed, unable to function. Delphine washes her body, mindful to keep her hair dry.

After the blood has swirled down the drain, Delphine sinks to her knees under the cooling spray, and parts her legs. Cosima grips the handrails and gasps as she cums, the sound like a single sob.

Again with no words, Delphine shuts off the shower and gets out, grabbing towels. She dries first herself, then Cosima, who is no longer cold, but not yet warm.

Gently, as if handling a skittish creature, Delphine takes her to bed.

Now she does protest. “No, I have to, we have to… Kira’s gone, and Sarah needs me. I have to help, I have to find her.”

“Sshh. Tomorrow, ma cherie. Tomorrow we will do all in our power to help your sister. Now, you will rest.”

Cosima opens her mouth to disagree, to say something hurtful, but her voice gets caught in her throat again, and she finds herself hacking. Delphine is there, holding her as tears fill her eyes, and she has no choice but to nod and fall against her chest.

Delphine moves and clicks off the light, before returning and pulling Cosima close. She lays a kiss on the dark haired woman’s temple.

“Sleep, mon amour. I will keep watch.”

Tomorrow. Tomorrow she will wake up early and get on her computer and use her big, sexy brain to take that horrible, lost look out of Sarah’s eyes. Tonight, though, she will rest, finally warm.

And she does.

*****

Helena wakes, pain throbbing outward from her chest. Her vision is blurred; it pulses in time with her heart. It is hard to breathe, as if something is crushing her chest.

She is moving. She is sitting upright. The world is a confused, spiraling brightness.

She smells antiseptic, and beneath that sickness. Death. And something else…

“Who are you?” she demands of the presence at her back. Her voice is a hoarse croak, but no less dangerous.

She feels the presence lean forward, over her shoulder. She smells the tang of sweat and aftershave. A man.

The voice comes from directly behind her ear. “Family,” he whispers, and her stomach goes cold.

“No,” Helena mutters, trying to tense, to stand, but she can’t. They must have given her something.

“Oh come now. Everyone needs family.” He is smug, sounds almost like he is teasing her.

Family. Her mind flashes to Sarah holding her in the bathroom, leading her to the couch and holding her. To Kira, the softness of her little hands and the sweet smell of her hair, like sugar cookies and sunshine. Sarah, who saved her. Kira, whom she could not save.

“No,” Helena says again. “I already have a family.”

The man chuckles, the sound low and throaty, and turns the wheelchair sharply. The motion jars her, agitates her wounds.

“Your family abandoned you, girl. But don’t worry, I’m here now.”

Helena feels her consciousness melting away.

“Sarah…” she whispers, begs, prays.

Another sharp turn, and the world fades away. Helena sleeps.

_fin_


End file.
